Someone asked me that last week. Looked me right in the eyes and just came out with it.
Oh man. Oh gee. Oh my goodness. We're going. We're really, really going. And I'm happy. Thrilled.
The person asking the question wanted to know if I was scared. No. Nope. No, really. Not scared. I'm sure I'll be scared somewhere out there, but I'm not scared now.
I'm delighted. Ecstatic. Thrilled.
And sad. Sometimes very sad. You can tell because I haven't blogged in weeks. (Can't believe anyone still follows me. Been in a procrastinating slump lately. Big time.)
- Haven't blogged because I want the blog to be (mostly) honest and I didn't want to write this post.
- Haven't written thank you notes for the wonderful party that I haven't blogged about because writing those notes will be an ending of some sort and I don't want things to end.
- Have been eating too much, reading junk, working on the boat a bit, working on my business a lot, and writing lists.
- We have excellent friends here.
- We have loving family here.
- We are established in the community and that has been important to me.
- EW and I each have a successful business. Not giant successful, but we do all right. (Nods head turns down corners of mouth.)
- I have been on the board of the Chamber, and of the Association for Consulting Expertise. EW was commodore of our yacht club
- We love Maine. We just love it. We've lived here by choice and it has been a wonderful place for us
And we are leaving by choice and that is also a wonderful choice for us.
So, what is really bothering me? In reverse order of importance: (Drum roll, please)
# 5 I have never successfully grocery shopped for one full week and you want me to provision for 30 days! Are you crazy?
# 4 Getting rid of/storing the last of the stuff in the storage locker. I know that no one, probably including me, will care about those 3 boxes of photos but they aren't digitized and I'm not throwing them out. You can't make me. You can't make me.
# 3 Missing important events. I hate to miss things. I'm going to miss a lot of events, big and small. We were just invited to a wedding late in October in New York. The groom is one of EW's boyhood friends. We are delighted that he is marrying a wonderful woman and sad that we most likely won't be able to attend. (Did you catch that "most likely"? You'll note that I'm not ready to give that up, yet. We have already declined the invitation, but I don't want EW to miss this wedding.) Did I say that I hate to miss things?
# 2 Saying goodbye. Haven't really done it yet. But this will be tough. Worried about it already. 'Nuff said. Tears forming.
# 1 Causing EW to think for just a second that I don't want to go. I am thrilled to go. Delighted. Ecstatic. Jumping up and down for joy.
Most of the time that joy is evident, I am bouncing and talking fast and waving my hands and smiling broadly. I am happy and blessed. But sometimes that happiness is bittersweet. We aren't simply going. We are leaving. And we'll be leaving some wonderful people and taking wonderful memories with us.
How do I feel about taking off? Great. Just great. Really.