It takes the best hairstylists (like Darleen in Maine and LeeAnn at sea) a few cuts to learn my hair. As we cruise the islands of the Atlantic I only give each professional one shot at it before moving on and getting another cut in six weeks or so.
Faithful readers will know that I have given EW two horrible cuts in years past, but he still agreed to let me try again and I’m now cutting his hair – and learning his cowlicks – to his satisfaction if not to perfection. After my last professional haircut in the Azores, I suggested that EW should take scissors in hand and save us some money.
First, I had to seriously absolve him of all guilt if things went bad. (This is where the inveigling came in. I know that means “persuading someone to do something by means of deception or flattery”. Of course you would have heard if I hated my haircut! Of course you all would know that EW did it.) But, after all, I did this to him, so how much worse could he do to me?
Don’t answer that.
I wet my hair, clipped it up in sections that could be lowered for cutting at the appropriate time, and arranged a crate and cushion salon chair in La Luna’s saloon.
We began. He has no idea how to cut hair, and I only have a little bit of knowledge (which can be a dangerous thing.
- I knew that if I parted my hair in the middle for the cut, that when I styled it with a part on the right, it would naturally have shorter strands framing my face.
- I knew that if we cut the first under layer a bit shorter than the rest of it that my hair would turn under naturally. (How much is a bit?)
- I knew that cutting straight hair straight can be a challenge. (My mom gave me crew cut bangs when she kept evening them up until they were so short they stood up straight. I was only five, but didn't let her take scissors to my hair again. Ever. Oh yeah, it would be fine if EW screwed it up. I don't hold a grudge. much.)
The rules were as follows:
- I’d take the clips out when the time came.
- I’d agree on the length to start with.
- EW would try to make the top layers a half inch longer than the first layer.
- EW would not keep snipping to make things even. Crooked was better than too short.
- And (most important and a partial lie) I would absolutely absolve EW of all blame for a bad haircut.
It went quite well. He actually offered me a mirror – which was both good and bad, I tried not to micro-manage (but it is my hair), and we kept our sense of humor. We learned what to do next time. It ended up much shorter than what I had wanted. (EW learned NOT to hold the strand of hair tight while cutting as it springs up afterward. About a half inch.) However, it isn’t shorter than the cut I had in St. Lucia, or when I asked LeeAnn to cut it short so I could go for 8 weeks without a cut.
I like it shorter, and may keep it this way now that I’m living with my hairstylist.
Afterward, I cut EW’s hair, giving him the mirror and I did better than the last time.
Neither LeeAnn nor Darlene, nor any other professional stylist have to worry that I’ll never get another professional cut. Nor do they need to be concerned that either EW or I will take their clients.
However, I look marvelous, don’t I?